What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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