her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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