Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
there is puke in my bra ... again
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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