i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
