I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
