addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
soo... how was my night?
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