I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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