Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
