she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
