Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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