We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
false alarm, still single
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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