he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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