operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
