she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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