Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
