lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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