he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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