So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
