go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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