Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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