Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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