i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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