Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
