He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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