o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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