once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
