If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
