omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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