Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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