dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
