why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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