I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
