hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
