I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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