ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
