it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
