The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
