Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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