it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
