Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
