imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
