I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
