Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
there is glitter all over my balls
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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