Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
