they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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