Jerry, you need to find god
Someone shit on the floor
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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