Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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