So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
