I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
