sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
