Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
