he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
