it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
