I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
sex in a hospital.. check
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
