garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
