yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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