in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
